WORM'S EYE

Sermon per sec – your cyberspace confessional booth

129. Are you guilty of presumption?

Don’t worry if you are. Even nauseatingly prissy do-gooders are guilty of it.

The question is, how do you avoid this recurrent iniquity? Common sense dictates that it is hard; human nature is especially predisposed to such a folly.

Fortunately the ancient Greeks have supplied the appropriate terminology: metanoia. Metanoia literally means change of mind, a deliberate, decisive changing of an intransigent mindset. It is the opposite of narrow-mindedness, only that there’s this conscious intention to focus on the positive, to predispose oneself towards kindness, nay, to desire it.

We know that people are given to thinking the way they should not, but the opposite is also possible. We are certainly free to criticize others, be the devil’s advocate, espouse a contrary opinion to counteract an herd mentality, etc. But it would be a better world if we’re kind enough to think the best in others and assume the kindness of their intentions, to presume innocence instead of guilt, honesty instead of deceit, rectitude instead of malice.

Yes, the assumption of malice is malice in itself. There’s nothing more powerful a putdown than to accuse somebody obliquely and confirm a weakness he or she is struggling so hard with. By contrast, there’s nothing more efficacious a personal and professional “bust-lift” than a kind word and a disposition to inspire, to bring out the best in the person.

Yielding in to such an aspect of human nature as anger is easier, while the path to kindness takes an amount of effort. Rash judgement can only be done in haste while consideration for others takes more seconds of patient reflection. Oh, but these are all generalizations that run the danger of being dismissed without the benefit of practical examples.

To put metanoia into practice, PR man Tony V. had this gem of an example from everyday life: “’Instead of saying I don’t have money,’ say ‘I don’t have money yet.’” It’s just one small word – ‘yet’ – and yet it spelled the big difference; the difference lies in the choice to place one’s faith in providence.

We can do the same thing: Signify our faith in the innate goodness of the human heart. We can say ‘You can do better’ instead of saying ‘You are dumb.’ ‘You made it this time’ instead of saying ‘You’re always late.’ ‘You forgot to log out’ instead of saying ‘You are so forgetful.’ Yes, there are other better ways of seeing the world and these automatically translate to a kinder lexicon.

This is not to encourage the infantilization of mature individuals who ought to be responsible for their actions and held accountable for their irresponsibility. Here, we are only after up-building people, boosting their morale, inspiring them to work harder. After all, who among us hasn’t seen the destructive consequence of one reckless criticism, be it personal or professional? It’s been said that it would take ten or more words of affirmation for every hurtful criticism hurled against a person.

Besides, accusations will only put people on the defensive, not to mention the baggage of guilt on the part of the accuser. We all want to avoid telenovela-intense moments, don’t we?

Another thing to be learned about metanoia is that the world is not painted in black and white and that people will always commit mistakes. But, thank goodness, people are malleable creatures, like clay in the hand of a potter; they have the proven capacity for positive change.

1.15.2003